The Claremont Independent
The (Non) Party Inform!
Hey guys and gals, my name is MSpellz and I’m your new SAC for this semester. YAY! My friends, Big Huang and Chodeman, and I have got some great ideas for your new (non) party week!
Tuesday: Tuesday Night Rulings (TNR)
A mandatory four hour meeting where we go over our new drug rules and have hearings for all those pesky rabble rousers who broke them last week
Wednesday: Pub(lic) Shamings
We get to throw rotten vegetables at those who broke the rules. Organic fun! lulz
Thursday: Thursday Night Cleanse (TNC)
My fave day of tha week! Our biffles at the CPD come by with their sniffer dogs and cleanse every dorm of its drugs. SO CUTE!!!1
Saturday: “Got 99 Problems, But a Legal Liability Ain’t One” Party
My friends and I share a glass of bubbly to celebrate the new, super fly social scene. Students share in the moment through silent studying and repentance (no shenanigans allowed)